Where Do You Run To When There's Nowhere To Run To?

It's amazing how your opinion of something can change so fast. This time last week my blog was hopeful, fun-filled, and anticipatory of the coming week. Oh how I so greatly was wrong. While the Week of Welcome (WOW) was fun, it was also hectic, stressful, and way too much to handle. Between running from class to class, finishing my homework (yeah, I wish), Judo, Iaito, and Zumba, there just aren't enough hours in the day. Yes, and we are just beginning the start of the brand new week 2 of the semester. I have well over 200+ pages of reading due by Friday. There's already a group project due in a few weeks for my Environmental Science class, as well as many weekly journals to do. Those aren't really journals though. They're the way the professor checks that you're doing your homework. Mostly though, it's not the amount of homework, or the fluorescent lighting. No, it's the fact that these classes are dull and boring. I feel as if I should just be out doing what I want to do with life. Not sitting in a classroom learning what those who are "knowledgeable" believe I should know. (btw one should note that this little rant here is probably in fact, due credit to one of my current professors)

I don't think it would all seem so bad if there was anywhere here to get a moments solace. My dorm is small, crowded, and as of the current moment a mess. Neither myself nor my roommate have the time to straighten up at the moment. The libraries, my past (and typical) place of escape are crowded and I suppose you could even say noisy. Or at least as noisy as a library can be. Here in the city it's hot and crowded with people and stagnant, exhaust-filled air. There are no stars here. Instead the sky glows orange from the lights which are supposed to keep away those who mean us harm. Can you believe it's unsafe to walk around at night here? It's awful since the late hours (like right now) are a fabulous time to be outside. Dust fills the air all the time, heat reflects off the unending asphalt during the day, and the only water to speak of falls from the sky or runs from a faucet. This whole place is a great artificial façade presented to us with the pretense and stereotypical American view of the university. This school is everything a top-notch university is supposed to be. If you look at any hollywood college movie, you will see a picture painted that is much like where I now reside. The thing is though, it's not the most wonderful environment. As I said, there is no comfort, no solace to be found in an area as populous as this. Twice as many people flow through this campus every day as who reside year-round in my county; including the mainland. It's just way more people than I'm used to, and there's nowhere to literally run to. Typically when I'm feeling like this I just drive as far south down the islands as I can (aka until I reach the point I can still make it home on the current tank of gas) and just sit on the beach. Sometimes it's for hours and I'll never see another soul. There's really nothing like sitting there under the wide open sky, and looking out at the ocean that fades into nothingness on the horizon. The air is clean, and there's a salt-tinged breeze on your face. It's the perfect escape from the scheduling of everyday life. People here operate in a very different way. Everything's a race, everything's a push, everything's a competition. And right now, in this moment, I want nothing more than to hop in my car and drive as far south as I can, then get out and run east till you can run no more. To the end of America, to the start of the sea.

I've never been a city girl, and I don't think I ever really will be.

Well, I don't think that statement fits very well with my major...

But anyhow...right now for the first time ever, I'm sitting on the outside as back home they are waiting for category 4 hurricane Earl to make his move up the coast. It's the very first time in 15 years that I won't be on the beach for a major storm. It's so surreal to be watching this, anticipating this, from the outside. I've never known what it's like to worry for those who are facing the path of a storm. I think when you are the one in the path (and it's routine like it is for we locals), it's just another day. But either way you have to look at the sheer magnitude and awesome power of the beastly storms that pay their visits in the late summer and early autumn. But for all the destructive, and awesome power these storms carry, there's nothing like the beaches this time of year. There's less crowding, the breezes are he perfect mixture of warm and cool, and the water is more beautiful than the height of summer. Perhaps a trip home will have to be planed soon to find that little corner of (mostly) uninhabited earth. But for now I must sleep. For no matter how I do not wish to be in this picturesque university setting in this moment, classes will still continue. Homework will still seem to multiply like mice. Here's really hoping for a better tomorrow and a successful search for an area of escape (once I have the time to look for it!).

Peace,
Elina

And no, this image is not one of Hurricane Earl. He's not quite this as well formed and stable. What you see here is Hurricane Isabel who left us without power for 7-30+ days depending where on the islands you lived. This photograph was probably from when she was still a category 5 storm.

Kicking Off a New Year

Please accept my apology now for the poor grammar and short, broken sentences of this post. It's been a very long day today, and it's late!

Today brought lots of events to open the new academic year. New student convocation was held to welcome new and transfer students (but really the new class of 2014). It's a little depressing. The seniors are celebrating, as are the freshmen. And here I am stuck in the middle. It's exciting, and yet it's not at the same time. There's isn't a lot for the class of 2012 other than the student branch of the General Alumni Association. It's costs a few dollars ($20), but it seems like a good organization to belong to. Lots of networking to be done with people who hold big, important, jobs. So there's all this celebrating going on, and yet, it makes me a little downhearted. I don't have time to mess up here. I don't get to change my major. I don't even get to change my concentration. Because a new policy says that if I don't finish in 2 years, I'm out. Gone, done, finished, goodbye. It really makes things feel pressured.

But on a better note, tonight was FallFest. It's where they close a portion of the road and all the student organizations come out to recruit and pass out information. I think I probably signed up for two dozen different email lists. It's crazy how much is out there! I was most excited though to find the Kendo, Iaito, Judo, and fitness clubs. Go figure Kyoshi tried for years to get me into Iaido and it seems like I may be starting here. Looks like I'm going to need my nice bukuto and my judo gi from home. Oh mom! It's going to be so weird wearing a white belt and knowing "nothing" again. Although of course, that is our constant state of course. Knowing nothing. Because that way we are always able to learn. I'm happy because it seems to be classical judo even though they refer to themselves as "playing". Ugh. Have a little more respect for yourselves people! But anyhow, that makes me happy that they're not all macho and stuff. The people next to them were though. It was a modern Jujutsu group. And calling that Jujutsu...it's just disgraceful.

Also exciting at FallFest was the free Indian food! There's enough events on campus this week that I shouldn't really have to go to the dining hall much. Yay! But I didn't manage to score any T-Shirts. Ah well. I'm sure there'll be plenty more opportunities throughout the year.

Today also brought my first full day with a roommate. It's okay I suppose. She woke me early this morning (9am) booting up her computer, chatting on Skype, and talking on Skype. She also turned on the very bright fluorescent overhead light in our room, when there was plenty of natural light filtering through the blinds. She also has 8am classes 3 days a week. Dear me... But anyhow, I just felt like turning on the light wasn't necessary, and she could have talked on Skype out in the hallway. I'll give it a week, and then we'll talk. She also leaves the light on when she goes to bed (if I'm not in the room yet). It's...odd and unnecessary. I mean, it can't be nice to sleep with the light on. We walked this morning to get free bagels for breakfast and locate our classes. We had to walk since she doesn't have a bike. That's also difficult as biking is so much faster and easier. She wanted to look for more classes, but I split back to the dorm. While I did end up taking the long route, I wanted to be sure to make it clear that we roommates do not have to do everything together. It's an easy habit to fall into since a roomie is an almost guaranteed friend to do stuff with. It was fun this afternoon though, to walk up and down the hall meeting folks who left their doors open. Met some very nice folks on my hall. We also had a learning community meeting today, with one each day for the next two days. Seems like a nice group of people to live with for the year.

Tomorrow, and this whole week really, is insanely busy! Although I know it's going to be fun I kind of can't wait for it to be over. To have less things to do (homework not included of course), or maybe I'll really end up with more. I'm not so sure about Kendo club, but I'll deefinitely be checking out Judo, Iaito, and the fitness clubs. I sure hope all these meetings are in the evenings. Judo's gonna be perfect though. They don't meet till late, and well after classes are over. Should be exciting! I hope they like me, and I them. They seem to be a decent group of martial artists. Even if they do "play". Dear me. I'll get over it eventually. Well...no, I really won't I suppose. I first heard the term back in 2004 and it still makes me cringe to this day. Anyhow, busy day tomorrow. Hopefully I can get back into the room and into bed without waking the roomie. Time to test my ninja skills! lol!

Peace,
Elina

Enjoy the photo from Dublin! It's a little closer to what my new home is like (it's not as cool as Dublin, but still), than the one I left.

A Change is Gonna Come

Here I sit, marveling at the sky. A sky that is free of stars and glows purple as if illuminated with an ultraviolet lightbulb. I breathe air that is not tinged with salt, but instead tainted with the exhaust of countless cars and city busses. Made stronger by the beating sun and nonexistent breeze. Tonight, I miss the beach. The actual beach. The sand in your toes, the salt in the air, and the breeze that stirs your hair. Even the crowd at the Jack Johnson concert tonight was different from the concert back home. Well, yes. Of course they would be comprised of different people. That is a given. But the sheer mentality of the crowd of a landlocked city was completely different. It's like an alien world that I've been sent to masquerade in. One with people who hold 9-5 jobs, office hours are kept, and there is public transit. What the adventure the latter is! Apparently the bus system around here is being revamped so the bus routes and times may not be those which are actually listed. Plus there are different schedules for holidays, weekends, and non-peak times of year. Heavens be! The roomie and I waited for over an hour for a bus that never came. We ended up having to catch a cab to my car. Turns out the lot is nearly 3 miles off campus! It's way farther than I ever thought it'd be. This has been one huge adjustment. The walking or taking the bus thing. It's just not something you do back on the beach. You get in your car and go to the store. Not wait 30 minutes for a bus. I mean, how inconvenient is that?! Plus they smell awful, and slow traffic for all the other drivers. But it's not like they were thinking of driving and parking when the university was founded over two centuries ago.

Classes begin on Tuesday. I can't believe it's been nearly 5 days since I moved. I've been kept so busy there's been no time to sit and "miss home" per-say. From new student orientation, to getting lost on campus, finding the bookstore, to moving in while rain is lashing from the sky, it's been quite a crazy few days. I made some friends at orientation and went to lunch the next day. Good people, or so it seems. And most surprisingly, so far at least, I've been able to keep my part of the room relatively neat and clean. Go me!

My roommate moved in today (Can anyone say "major adjustment"?), and we plan to figure out our routes to class tomorrow. Plus there's free brunch given by one of the Jewish societies here on campus. Lots of free food this week. It's quite exciting! But along with finding free food, one must also find the gym. That's on the list for tomorrow too. Apparently we have not one, but two gyms here on campus. I'm quite happy about this fact.

But anyhow, I must be off. While my roomie is apparently a heavy sleeper (most excellent), I don't want to push the time boundaries too much the 1st night!

I'll try to write soon on more adjustments to college life in the big city!

Peace,
Elina

The photo is of Dingle Bay at the change of day and night.

Less Than A Week...What?!

Alright, so I've been a very bad blogger over the summer. But truth is, there's not much to report. Being that I'm saving money for college it's been work, work, work all season. And speaking of university the countdown is getting very short! It's less than one week till I leave the beach I've called home for many, many years. This is another reason for the lack of blogging. Do you know how much work it takes to prepare for a move such as this?! You have to consolidate your life down into something that will fit in half of a 12x13 room for the next eight months or more. Thank heavens we keep our roommate for the full academic year.

After the essentials, - bedding, laundry soap, a paper shredder, mini fridge, etc. - it's so difficult to choose what to pack! Here I wish I could take my guitar, but need to look at how often I really play it. The same goes for so many other things. Things that right now I feel like I couldn't live without, but will really just pack the dorm full of things that I don't need. And hey, I'm a messy person. Like, really messy. I truly feel bad for my new roomie and do pledge to do my best to keep the room clean. Yeah, we'll see how well this is gonna go!

Anyhow, it's off to get more things together. Can't believe the days have flown by so quickly!

Peace,
Elina

I felt it only appropriate to post a photo of the beautiful place I will be leaving behind.

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

On the drive home from work today, through those small backwoods roads, I began thinking about all the small little lies we tell often, if not everyday, to other people. Sometimes they are small ones. A stranger asks how you are doing, and you answer, "Good, thank you," even if you are not really alright. Then there are the lies we tell to others secretly hoping that if we say them enough, maybe we'll even start to believe them. Maybe the alternative, the reality, is too difficult to face. What if you don't really want to go to that school? What if you're already more deeply attached then you want everyone to think?

It's the latter of these which catch up to us in the end. They're not the lies that tangle you in a story you can't remember. They're the scenarios created in your mind that you want to be true. The thing is, you want to believe them so badly that other people believe you without a second thought. But here's the true question. If you speak the lies long enough, over and over, will you begin to think of them as the truth? And what if you decide that you can't accept this creation as the truth? If you decide to talk to someone in all honesty, will they ever believe another word you say again? If you come out and say, "I lied. I was only saying such silly things because it's what I needed to tell myself," how can you ever keep your honor in the other person's eyes.

You can't. Even if the little lies you told them made that person do something that impacted your life in a way you never wanted. The truth of the matter is that the truth hurts. And whether we want to believe the truth or the lies, is up to us. Is it right to fool others only in order to fool ourselves? This is the type of thinking that spins us in circles and makes our heads, and our hearts, ache. Next time you decide to tell a sweet little story, pause and think about the future repercussions it may hold. Is it, was it, worth it?

Peace,
Elina

This photo is of a road leading to Slemish Mountain in County Antrim. It's up to you to find the significance of this photograph.

So Much to Do, So Little Time

Thunderweek is now over. Seems like just yesterday I proposed hosting a week at the beach for Thunderheads. That was back in February. Everyone has now gone home, and I've heard that most have arrived safely. It was an amazing and busy week full of laughter, happiness, and friendship. Hopefully, one day, we'll get to do this again. Who knows? Maybe one day we'll even get to have Thunderweek in Ireland. How cool would that be? But today brings me back into the real world.

I have been dealing with attempting to register for a foreign language class at university for the past two months with no avail. Only freshmen are allowed to register right now, not transfer students. Also, only today was I able to finally get someone to tell me that the 101 class is only offered online except in the fast summer session. How disappointing. Taking classes online is not the point of going away to university. Looks like it's my only option though. It's upsetting as I do not excel in online classes. But I suppose it's time to bite the bullet as they say, and just take the class. Otherwise I'll be staying at university all summer. Not that I may anyway, but without this class it's a definite. Hopefully things will be easier after this semester. Right, who am I kidding. But so far this has been the biggest hiccup in my transfer to university from a two year institution. Not too much to complain about overall. Other than the fact that the head of the foreign language department now probably hates me since I just called her the wrong name in an email. Oops!

Now I'm just waiting on hearing back about my roommate assignment, as I will be having a roommate. My parents gave me the option of having a single dorm, but the only ones available to transfer students were non air-conditioned with old baseboard or radiator heat. No thank you! Plus I was accepted into something called a living-learning community. You have to write essays to apply, and there is work involved over the semester. Plus you must maintain a certain GPA to be in the community for the academic year. Should be a good adventure! So I know my dorm, but not my roommate. The dorm is one of the original buildings of the campus, but has since been renovated. It has central HVAC (yay!), a piano in the building, and the original hardwood floors in the dorm rooms. No asbestos tiles for me! Haha!

As of right now it's precisely fifty days till I leave for university. And no, I don't have a single thing together. I should, but I don't. I'm sure that I'll pack everything last minute like usual. I have to be sure it all fits well in whichever vehicle I'm taking since I don't actually have someplace to stay for the 4 days between orientation and move in day. Another detail that I must figure out. I also still have to pick a meal plan. It's such a challenge. I don't want to eat at the cafeteria all the time, but I don't know how much money I'll have to cook my own food too much. Good thing I'm perfectly alright with cereal for breakfast. There's so many little details to figure out. I wish there was someone around who could just help you out with these things. But alas, part of going to university is part of growing up. They expect you to be able to handle all these things on your own. It's time to push you out of the nest and see if you can fly!

Anyhow, as I said, it's back to the real world today which means lots to do. Hope you all are well out there in cyberland.

Peace,
Elina

This picture is "at the end of the world". The Cliffs of Moher in County Clare.

The Things of Life

Well, I was doing fairly well writing here for a time. Seems like the last few posts make me not want to come back and write more. What depressing topics. Yeesh. But anyhow, 2010 has been a fabulous year so far, and we're not going to allow a few trivial happenings to alter that. Even if it certainly seems like they could. Something we must always remember is that we are the master of our own feelings. Sure, it's difficult to change the way we feel about something, or someone, but it is quite possible. Not without effort though. Being angry, upset, or sad doesn't change anything (upon other things, my best friend moved 4 hours away and neglected to actually tell me). It merely wastes your precious time. Someone please be sure to remind me of this upon occasion. You don't even have to be nice about it.

Alas, this is not to be a philosophical or insightful post. This is simply one to get back into the habit of writing here again. It's almost exactly two months till I leave for university. Eight weeks, one-half of a semester. It's going to be here so fast. It's time to start gathering things to take with me, and begin ordering dorm essentials, like those extra-long sheets, a throw rug, and a memory foam mattress cover. There's so much to do, and so much I want to do, with very, very little time! (Time seems to be a reoccurring theme throughout my blog posts doesn't it?)

As you all know from the title of this blog, the beach is where I call home. Too bad when you live here you don't really get to see it that much! Next week (aka 4 days!) a bunch of my Thunderhead friends will be here for a time they've aptly dubbed "Thunderweek". I can't wait, even though I only get 2 full days off to have with everyone. I'm quite looking forward to all of this. I'm also looking forward to seeing the new Eclipse movie at the midnight premiere with one of my besties!

Anyhow, seeing as I've nothing more to really say right now (or I'm too tired to think of anymore), it's time to call it a night. Tomorrow bring the morning shift at work, and maybe an hour at the beach before class tomorrow night. It's gonna be a long day!

Peace,
Elina

PS: If you haven't heard the new album from The High Kings titled Memory Lane, go order it now. Yes, it's a pricey import from Ireland but 100% worth every penny.

This charming cottage is someplace in Ireland. It looks like precisely the place I'd love to be right now.