Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

On the drive home from work today, through those small backwoods roads, I began thinking about all the small little lies we tell often, if not everyday, to other people. Sometimes they are small ones. A stranger asks how you are doing, and you answer, "Good, thank you," even if you are not really alright. Then there are the lies we tell to others secretly hoping that if we say them enough, maybe we'll even start to believe them. Maybe the alternative, the reality, is too difficult to face. What if you don't really want to go to that school? What if you're already more deeply attached then you want everyone to think?

It's the latter of these which catch up to us in the end. They're not the lies that tangle you in a story you can't remember. They're the scenarios created in your mind that you want to be true. The thing is, you want to believe them so badly that other people believe you without a second thought. But here's the true question. If you speak the lies long enough, over and over, will you begin to think of them as the truth? And what if you decide that you can't accept this creation as the truth? If you decide to talk to someone in all honesty, will they ever believe another word you say again? If you come out and say, "I lied. I was only saying such silly things because it's what I needed to tell myself," how can you ever keep your honor in the other person's eyes.

You can't. Even if the little lies you told them made that person do something that impacted your life in a way you never wanted. The truth of the matter is that the truth hurts. And whether we want to believe the truth or the lies, is up to us. Is it right to fool others only in order to fool ourselves? This is the type of thinking that spins us in circles and makes our heads, and our hearts, ache. Next time you decide to tell a sweet little story, pause and think about the future repercussions it may hold. Is it, was it, worth it?

Peace,
Elina

This photo is of a road leading to Slemish Mountain in County Antrim. It's up to you to find the significance of this photograph.

So Much to Do, So Little Time

Thunderweek is now over. Seems like just yesterday I proposed hosting a week at the beach for Thunderheads. That was back in February. Everyone has now gone home, and I've heard that most have arrived safely. It was an amazing and busy week full of laughter, happiness, and friendship. Hopefully, one day, we'll get to do this again. Who knows? Maybe one day we'll even get to have Thunderweek in Ireland. How cool would that be? But today brings me back into the real world.

I have been dealing with attempting to register for a foreign language class at university for the past two months with no avail. Only freshmen are allowed to register right now, not transfer students. Also, only today was I able to finally get someone to tell me that the 101 class is only offered online except in the fast summer session. How disappointing. Taking classes online is not the point of going away to university. Looks like it's my only option though. It's upsetting as I do not excel in online classes. But I suppose it's time to bite the bullet as they say, and just take the class. Otherwise I'll be staying at university all summer. Not that I may anyway, but without this class it's a definite. Hopefully things will be easier after this semester. Right, who am I kidding. But so far this has been the biggest hiccup in my transfer to university from a two year institution. Not too much to complain about overall. Other than the fact that the head of the foreign language department now probably hates me since I just called her the wrong name in an email. Oops!

Now I'm just waiting on hearing back about my roommate assignment, as I will be having a roommate. My parents gave me the option of having a single dorm, but the only ones available to transfer students were non air-conditioned with old baseboard or radiator heat. No thank you! Plus I was accepted into something called a living-learning community. You have to write essays to apply, and there is work involved over the semester. Plus you must maintain a certain GPA to be in the community for the academic year. Should be a good adventure! So I know my dorm, but not my roommate. The dorm is one of the original buildings of the campus, but has since been renovated. It has central HVAC (yay!), a piano in the building, and the original hardwood floors in the dorm rooms. No asbestos tiles for me! Haha!

As of right now it's precisely fifty days till I leave for university. And no, I don't have a single thing together. I should, but I don't. I'm sure that I'll pack everything last minute like usual. I have to be sure it all fits well in whichever vehicle I'm taking since I don't actually have someplace to stay for the 4 days between orientation and move in day. Another detail that I must figure out. I also still have to pick a meal plan. It's such a challenge. I don't want to eat at the cafeteria all the time, but I don't know how much money I'll have to cook my own food too much. Good thing I'm perfectly alright with cereal for breakfast. There's so many little details to figure out. I wish there was someone around who could just help you out with these things. But alas, part of going to university is part of growing up. They expect you to be able to handle all these things on your own. It's time to push you out of the nest and see if you can fly!

Anyhow, as I said, it's back to the real world today which means lots to do. Hope you all are well out there in cyberland.

Peace,
Elina

This picture is "at the end of the world". The Cliffs of Moher in County Clare.

The Things of Life

Well, I was doing fairly well writing here for a time. Seems like the last few posts make me not want to come back and write more. What depressing topics. Yeesh. But anyhow, 2010 has been a fabulous year so far, and we're not going to allow a few trivial happenings to alter that. Even if it certainly seems like they could. Something we must always remember is that we are the master of our own feelings. Sure, it's difficult to change the way we feel about something, or someone, but it is quite possible. Not without effort though. Being angry, upset, or sad doesn't change anything (upon other things, my best friend moved 4 hours away and neglected to actually tell me). It merely wastes your precious time. Someone please be sure to remind me of this upon occasion. You don't even have to be nice about it.

Alas, this is not to be a philosophical or insightful post. This is simply one to get back into the habit of writing here again. It's almost exactly two months till I leave for university. Eight weeks, one-half of a semester. It's going to be here so fast. It's time to start gathering things to take with me, and begin ordering dorm essentials, like those extra-long sheets, a throw rug, and a memory foam mattress cover. There's so much to do, and so much I want to do, with very, very little time! (Time seems to be a reoccurring theme throughout my blog posts doesn't it?)

As you all know from the title of this blog, the beach is where I call home. Too bad when you live here you don't really get to see it that much! Next week (aka 4 days!) a bunch of my Thunderhead friends will be here for a time they've aptly dubbed "Thunderweek". I can't wait, even though I only get 2 full days off to have with everyone. I'm quite looking forward to all of this. I'm also looking forward to seeing the new Eclipse movie at the midnight premiere with one of my besties!

Anyhow, seeing as I've nothing more to really say right now (or I'm too tired to think of anymore), it's time to call it a night. Tomorrow bring the morning shift at work, and maybe an hour at the beach before class tomorrow night. It's gonna be a long day!

Peace,
Elina

PS: If you haven't heard the new album from The High Kings titled Memory Lane, go order it now. Yes, it's a pricey import from Ireland but 100% worth every penny.

This charming cottage is someplace in Ireland. It looks like precisely the place I'd love to be right now.