Alright, so I've just driven 200+ miles and am back on the beach once again. 3 days later. I should be going to bed, but there's just so much going on that I can't sleep. Well, I don't think that cup of exam-week-worthy-strong coffee at dinner helps much either. This particular drive home didn't seem to take as long though due to running my mouth on the cellie (thanks to that cup of coffee). It's amazing how easy it is to lose touch with people who are really great to have in your life. At the same time though, it's also easy to lose touch with those people in your life you really need losing ("I've lost the friends I've needed losing / Found others on the way..."). Talking to friends from an old circle can really remind you of this. [Lots of] Shared history can either be a blessing and a curse. The things you learn about someone over time can be pretty revealing and downright disappointing. The wonderful illusions of what (or who) you thought you knew are swept away to reveal something that we don't necessarily want to know.
In some cases this is just downright sad. If you've known someone long enough you can have an idea of their true potential. The places they could go in life. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sometimes all you can do is watch your friend walk themselves off that cliff and be there to pick them back up again. But what happens when you're tired of picking them back up? What if your tired of the I'm sorries and screw ups? What if you're not there the next time your friend walks off the cliff? Do you think they'll realize only then, when it's already too late, what they've lost? They say love has no limits. So they say....
But when taken for granted, that work that it takes to keep our friendships going can be utterly exhausting. It can wear an individual down till they simply can't take anymore. You can only help someone so much until it's time for them to finally help themselves. But this is nearly impossible when their behavior is more than simply self destructive. When your friend's behavior is harmful to others...what do you do? What can you do? How can you wake up your friend from the lie they live to see the bitter reality they have caused?! Violence is never the answer. But when it gets to this point...this is the point that we wish life could be like TV and the movies. This is the point that we want to seize our friends by the shoulders, shake them, yell at them, and slap them till they get the point. Because eventually enough is enough! Eventually you are not going to be able to bear the stress that these apathetic fools cause in our lives. The pressure on our mental faculties and other relationships can be increased too easily. Especially so when everyone is interconnected and has history. It's all so complex. So delicate. So fragile.
Is it this fragile, already strained bond that we are holding on to by not confronting our friend with the vicious truth? And how do you go about doing that when that person is so clearly in need of some form of help? Support. We all need support in situations like this. These are the times that we must never forget we have other friends. There is always someone and you are never alone. And you cannot possibly keep all this stress, and these secrets, and suspicions inside without eventually driving yourself absolutely mad. When it gets to this point, all these things, they're no longer deemed as that vile word of "gossip". It's a safety valve. We all need to have a "person" to who we can just let the words, and stress, and truth we have been avoiding, ceaselessly flow until we can speak no more. Never take for granted the power that healthy friendships hold. Never take for granted the people who are there no matter what. Not the ones who come and go as they please. But the ones who are really, truly, there. Don't be like that friend who's walking off the cliff. Don't let it get to the point that you don't have someone there to pick you back up again. That's no way to live your life. Blind. A lie. A fight. No matter what you want to call it, whatever the driver behind that poison is, don't ever let it get that bad.
Our true friends are the antidote, the recovery, in our lives. So always offer a friend in need a hand, and sometimes offer them what will hurt. Medicine has bad reactions. It has bad tastes. And sometimes it can cause the side affect of pain. Sometimes, you as a good friend, have to be that medicine. Because eventually you're going to get tired of getting hurt by the sickness of your friend's poor choices. Sometimes they can't be saved. Sometimes there's nothing we can do but walk away for the pure sake of saving ourselves. It hurts. But you won't realize this is precisely what you need until you yourself have had the chance to heal and reflect.
There are choices to be made. What will yours be?
As always,
Peace,
Elina
This image is a storm rolling in at Fanad Point in Donegal, Ireland. The ocean can be a great friend through her gifts, but she can use her power to take just as fast.
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