Trials In the Dark

This is murder of the English language at its finest. It's after 5am and I can't sleep. I started thinking about the past and about the future and such things, and this is what came out. I'm exhausted and can hardly see straight to type this post. There are some, who if they only paid attention, would know it all. Everything is here, here where I write. But of course that's not the way it works in life. One day perhaps, one day.

I'm not even going to say that I hope you enjoy this. Heck, I'm just hoping it turns out as something partially readable when I come back tomorrow and see what I've written in my Spanish essay induced brain mushiness.

Trials In the Dark

You don't understand what it means to me

What it means to be free

To be free from the chains

These chains that held fast

The cold of rusted steel

It bit my flesh

It tore my soul

It kept me from you

Struggling with my bonds

I was nearly free

But captured anew

The chains red-hot fire

It burned new life

Hid the scars from cold

Burning white hot it came

Leaving damage like I'd never seen

At its presence I felt surely

That my bonds would be cast away

But when it passed I'd only found

My bonds forged to my very bones

At the flames' passing

A prisoner in the dark

I would not cry for help

Others should not suffer with me

Shackled I would remain

Cold water, cold stone, cold chains

It had been too long

The light was gone

Treachery took my home

There was nothing more

There was nothing left of me

Nothing, just despair

I remember others

Others in the dark

They told me it was not too late

There was still time

Strong hands reached from shadow

Pulling at my shackles

Alas, the tries were all in vain

There was only one who could help me now

The answer was there, as I well knew

I knew it all along

The riddle to my mysterious capture

Unwilling was I to face it

Surely that would change everything

The chains were all I'd ever known

A demon for certain

But a demon I knew

Oh to be free

It meant the unknown

A fear of which surely

Master would break me

For I was not broken

Only bound

There in the dark abyss

There in my mind

For my weakness, I wept

For those I'd hurt, I wept

For those who hurt me, I wept

For the strife, I wept

Tears streaked my face

I fell to the floor

Pulling in vain

At those chains that bind

I wanted so to be free

I would give it all

Just to know a day

Unfettered by cold

Salt water burned

Bolts hissed with acid

Yelping in shock

I looked to the sky

Dingy light filtered the gloom

I could see, barely

The bonds were loosened

Their determined hold still firm

Into the gloom I looked

There must be others

I waited in vain

There were no others

All along I had known

The hands, my imagination

Oh to be free

It was my journey alone

Others would watch

Their reach too short

They watched as I struggled

Blood dripped, tears fell

Looking up from my chains

So a part of who I was

That was when I saw

The solution within my vision

Standing, I reach out my hand

I reached blindly

My one and only hope

And waited, unknowing, silently pleading

Warmth, light like liquid

I was pulled forward

My chains wretched from the stone

Still bound to my soul

I was dismayed

This was not how it worked

No, damnit!

This was not freedom

Weighed down I wandered

Nearly captured again was I

Wandering in the shadows

A piercing light of white

My eyes were blind

So used to the blackness

Stumbling I began to fall

The hands, they were my own

This was the only way

The chins sizzled and sparked

Jumping in fright

Cold steel clattered to the ground

I looked in wonder

Surely this was not so

Surely this was a trick

A trap meant to torture

New hands reached out

Warm and soft

Hands of an angel

Coming from the light

Familiar hands that pulled at chains

Their strength not enough

Patience and time were all to give

The cold steel my own battle

I looked at the angel

A smile on my face

This was no lie

I was free

But still you cannot see

What it means to me

To be free from the chains

Because they were never yours

I tried to show you

But still you did not understand

The scars ran so deep

That which kept me from you

Now my heart is free

Now it is mine to give

Now it can be yours

But alas

You have known distance

Perhaps too long

I was away, I know

I was bound in the dark

You could not see

How could you not

I tried to show you

And now I'm free

Hardly thanks to you it was

You asked for things I could not give

They were not mine

How could they be yours

You didn't understand

You thought this time was at an end

Back you went

Away from me

But still I could not see

For I was bound

In the dark

In the ground

From light I reach

So full of home

The time has come

The time is now

There's only one life

And this is it

It's your only chance

It's your only choice